Tag Archives: Thoughts

Karmic Ruin

Mothers beware
Your maternal sins
Bide their time
As sons grow into men
 
The role of dutiful son;
the singular fatherly inheritance
His masculinity a life long performance
Of karmic violence
Without mirrors
There can be no reflection
No understanding
No compassion
 
Bitterness unleashed
On the old frail woman
Bewildered and hurt
Unable to challenge or run
She can only sit and absorb
The volcanic eruption
 
He cannot see
Ageing insists
The woman before him
Be understood differently
Without memories
She is not the same
Each sunrise is new
 
What happened in the past
Is the past
To understand this
Is to let go of the ruin
And forgive

Luvbeingadyke
 

Small

I demand attention
Am imposing and assertive
I will not be quiet
Or accept second place
I am ego
 
i don't need to be capitalised;
given an over inflated false value
i see myself as many
different but the same
i am small, human and genuine.
 
Luvbeingadyke

A Gift

Bury the sublime
The unparalleled emotion
Of soaring freedom
All but ephemeral
In its addictive sweetness
 
Bury it deep
So as not to dwell
On what is no longer
Where it can be kept safe
 
Indebted to the universe
Our paths crossed
I can savour the all consuming joy
In a heartbeat
The connection never ceases
I soar in the sublime.
 
Luvbeingadyke
 

Journal – just rambling

I sit here at the key board feeling a need to write but not sure what to write, so much is running through my mind. Superficial thoughts become philosophical, ethical and moral questions so a random idea quickly mushrooms into the meaning of life.

Journal – A close call

I almost made a terrible mistake. The mistake would have been becoming re-involved with a past lover. It didn’t work the first time for sound reasons; we are fundamentally two very different people. I’d conveniently forgotten about those differences in trying to get through underlying anxiety of being single. I was at the point of saying “yes I can give this another go” we planned¬†spending time¬†together and taking a road trip at Xmas. Then like a bombshell my memory kicked in and everything came to a screeching halt. I don’t like who she is. I don’t accept the way she treated me or my daughters. Nothing has changed. I’d rather remain single than enter into something unhealthy purely out of loneliness. Loneliness is a state of mind. I have recently chosen to be believe i’m lonely and the quiet anxiety I sometimes feel is a child of this self perception. If I created the whole situation then I can also dismantle the situation. That is exactly what I will do.

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