Tag Archives: Relationships

Words Forsaken

I hear
I know this despair intimately, old history, an old door
I feel shame, confusion
A deep sadness
My sorrow is profound
Words abandon articulation
I am left with grief
I never wanted to hurt, to cause pain
But I did
Your love is sacred
Your happiness is vital
I lay before you naked with love
To you I surrender
And ask for forgiveness
Trust is to be earned, to be respected
Words are forsaken here
It is in the deed where trust is cherished and nurtured
In time


Karmic Ruin

Mothers beware
Your maternal sins
Bide their time
As sons grow into men
The role of dutiful son;
the singular fatherly inheritance
His masculinity a life long performance
Of karmic violence
Without mirrors
There can be no reflection
No understanding
No compassion
Bitterness unleashed
On the old frail woman
Bewildered and hurt
Unable to challenge or run
She can only sit and absorb
The volcanic eruption
He cannot see
Ageing insists
The woman before him
Be understood differently
Without memories
She is not the same
Each sunrise is new
What happened in the past
Is the past
To understand this
Is to let go of the ruin
And forgive


Fool for Love

Words of promised affection
Hoping the sentiment
Will be eaten to feed another's
Who is the fool?
Disingenuous words veil a want
An addiction to praise
To sympathy
A gluttonous ego
Nothing more than a scavenger of love
Preying on a perception of weak
They are clear and the agenda
Someone I now, used to know

Lemon Tarts


Opinions of two lemons 
1cup of autism
Pinch of love
200mls of domineering childhood
Season well with inconsideration
Mix all the above with two scrambled egg heads

Set the oven to my way or the highway
Cook until temperatures rise and set
Allow to cool overnight


What Was

Unable to move forward

The torment of second hand love

Crushing the spirit

Losing identity, losing me

The break had to be severing, complete

Distance an empowering healer not understood by all


The hurt experienced so far nothing in comparison

To the gut wrenching pain to come

Reliving the cruelty

Tears spontaneously fall

Sadness etched on skin

Days and then into weeks

Relief forsaken



Infecting life with a despondency inescapable


At the moment of breaking

In the quiet

I reconnect and accept me

Recovery and reclaiming begins

Realising that distance was not to allow space to detach from feeling

But to embrace the pain and allow myself to grieve for what was lost



A promise made

With all sincerity

Too long ago to remember

Then with a gush all is released

Not realising

The news too shocking

The pieces of the puzzle fitting together

Called to account

In a heated damning exchange

An ethical dilemma

A promise is a promise

If based on a foundation of deceit

No matter how small or trivial

Made to feel shame or guilt

Is a coercive measure

An attempt to co-opt

Part ownership in the deception

The ethics are very clear

Deception is unethical

Intimidation to silence is unethical

Entrapment is unethical

The moral compass of the accuser is askew

Not recognising the violence in their actions

In an attempt to hide their deception

Go to hell!




An unkind phrase
A judgment handed down
To another viewed as inferior
All of us are porters in our own lives
No one escapes carrying their load
Some stop and open the case
To find out what’s inside, what makes us tick
Makes us do what we do
Why we hurt others, ourselves
What we find can be tearfully childlike
And some catch a glimpse and slam the case shut
Never to be opened again
Pretense allows us to hide from our infant fears
While others can’t fathom the complexity
When all is unpacked and known
Is expecting forgiveness permitted?
No judgment today the court is adjourned
As compassion is a porters best quality in defence.


I see her

I see her 
Socially awkward 
Feeling vulnerable 
Still I put myself out there without hesitation 
No thinking involved just (re)action
A smile conveys genuine affection words cannot
Socially fragile 
I stand before her
My mind is racing with anxiety 
What should I say now? 
What can be said? 
She breaks the impasse handing me a flyer 
Caution in her hard eyes
Socially closed 
Alright time to go 


Is Love

Is love 
thread bare 
down sized 
traded in
over grown 



The anxiety begins to build
Prying questions
Insisting on opening me up
Without permission
Feeling trapped
A nervous laugh
Hoping to deflect attention
Provide space to breath
To cope
I don’t want to answer
Being forced to choose
Pushed into a corner
I can’t speak of
The tears just under
My skin
Running through my veins
Arresting my heart
Lying is easy
Moving forward



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